Floss – Courtney Holden

The audacity of the floss industry

Mike just found an old spool of dental floss in his car, leading it to resurface in our bathroom.

This isn’t just any dental floss however. According to the bold packaging label, this is “high tech” dental floss.

Does the audacity of this strike you?

I mean, we’re talking about a company that makes a glorified piece of string calling its product “high tech.”

Give me a break.

I just ran into a saint … you know, one of those people who brushes their teeth and flosses after eating lunch.

Wow.

On the rare occasion that I floss, I’m reminded why I so rarely floss: It fricking hurts!

I typically only floss on special occasions.

I’ve just gotten home from a backyard barbecue, and I have corn stuck in my teeth.

I’ve returned from a party where they served celery for an appetizer.

I was asked out on a date, and I ordered popcorn to go with the movie.

I bust out the floss on days that are, you know, out of the ordinary. Special.

I’m wondering if that logic works backwards … If I start flossing every day, will every day be extraordinary?

Hmmm…