Travel & Lifestyle Freelance Writer | Market Research Consultant
People give their dogs way too much credit.
Walking home just now I overheard a lady hollering at her dog, Buddy, “Not that way! No! Not that way! Go around the fence, around the fence.”
Really?
First off, Buddy wasn’t even looking at his owner lady to know which way it was that he wasn’t supposed to go.
And second, I’m pretty sure that “that way” isn’t commonly translated into the canine vernacular.
I’ve decided that I’m going to start calling a lot more of my food “homemade.”
To be honest I homemake a lot of my food. Sure I homemake it in my microwave, but considering my microwave is in my home, I think I can get off on a technicality.
Yesterday, some sample-giver-outer lady at the grocery store tried to convince me to buy a particular brand of deli meat for its low sodium content.
Hah!
Apparently she hadn’t read this blogpost.
The other day, Mike asked me to fix the holes in his jeans.
I told him that despite my recent crafty endeavors (I made a wreath, a table runner, and I’m about to start in on some curtains), I didn’t know how to do that.
“But I thought you were getting domesticated,” he said.
That was the end of that conversation.
I biked past a preschool the other day during recess and was amazed at how much squealing and squeaking I heard.
It’s crazy how much the future of America sounds like a gopher farm.
How often do you think people buy Arm & Hammer Baking Soda Toothpaste because they expect it to taste like bacon and soda?