God is brilliant. He made oranges come in those convenient, individual slices.
He made grapes bite-sized flavor bursts. And he made grapefruits into carefully partitioned halves so that you don’t really even need a bowl to eat them.
However, I firmly believe that it was Satan who made mealy apples. That jerk.
So I just got up from my desk to go to the bathroom about 28 minutes ago (don’t ask questions; just read my blog) and there was a sign on the first stall saying “Broken.” But when I was just in there, the warning was gone. Either someone is trying to play a cruel joke, or the world’s most efficient plumber works for Active Interest Media.
So recently, in a belated attempt to get my arms slightly buffer in time for summer, I’ve been doing push-ups.
But today, while out on my morning run, I found what may well be a far more effectual method of bicep and tricep toning: you carry stuff while you run.
Now, you don’t have to have any intention of carrying these things, but it definitely helps if you’re simply incapable of passing up a sign that mentions the word “free,” even if the adjective is followed by a less than inviting noun: “crap,” “garbage,” “stuff we’ve had in our attic for the past 19 years.”
So what do I recommend you carry to rid yourself of arm jiggle?
Well, ultimately, it probably doesn’t matter. But you know, normal stuff will work just fine: running shoes; a lamp; a pair of Rollerblades …
No, no. Don’t worry about setting out on your run with these items. That’s what the generous “free junk” givers are for.
You’ll likely find these arm-toning trinkets–oh, I don’t know–roughly 32 blocks away from your apartment and you’ll probably have to get home in time to shower, put some clothes on and pack a lunch and still manage to get to work on time. So next, you run home.