Just found my slippers hiding under my husband’s underpants.
Come on, man! Use the hamper!
A morning of “firsts”
Just heard my next-door neighbor rocking out to “Dust in the Wind,” which means I chalked up a couple “firsts” this morning.
1. I’ve never heard a 55+ woman belting out the lyrics to a Kansas song.
2. And most importantly, who rocks out to “Dust in the Wind,” i.e. one of the most depressing songs ever?
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Explanation please
Dear Husband,
I would love to understand your logic behind leaving 1.75 Triscuits in the box. Please explain.
Love,
Wife
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Rule of Thumb
After thoroughly slicing off the tip of my thumb the other day while cutting carrots, I now have a new rule of thumb for when I’m in the kitchen: Don’t cut off my thumb.
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Apologies
I just ate like 14 cloves of garlic on my two slices of pizza, so I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize in advance to:
- My husband who has to sleep next to me
- The coworkers who have cubicles within a 45-foot radius of mine
- Anybody I talk to in the next week
- The dental hygienist who drew the short straw and has to clean my teeth tomorrow
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God Bless …
It’s people like this who keep non-moving traffic on I-70 interesting. Thanks for your patriotism and your sense of humor.